The Disease of Pride!

Between Us Only!

The Disease of Pride!

Or Feeling More Important Than Others!

Those that are my avowed Readers and Fans will no doubt acknowledge that – I always do write from my own personal experiences and exposures and as my references – and from incidents and episodes recently that have happened to me – or to people I know well for surety! This new disease of false pride is becoming increasingly rampant in the society now!

Let us start with some quotes first – on Pride: –

• Certainly Allah does not love the proud ones. – The Holy Quraan – 16:23
• Whosoever has in his heart, even an atom of pride he will not enter paradise – The Islamic Hadith

• Pride is an admission of weakness, it secretly fears all competition and dreads all rivals – Fulton J. Sheen
• A proud man is always looking down on things and people – and thus cannot see anything above him – C. S. Lewis
• The truest characters of ignorance are vanity and pride – Samuel Butler
• The infinitely little have a pride infinitely great – Voltaire
• Pride comes before a fall – Famous
• The one who climbs a ladder will have to come down! – East African saying

Long time ago, I watched this film where the ex Dictator Iddi Amin of Uganda was showing off this certificate to a cheering crowd. Then He tore the paper into two – saying aloud – Now Mr. P – you are no longer a citizen of Uganda! That is the end of a ‘paper citizen’ – and as he sends into exile thousands of Asians to all parts of the world – but mainly Canada and UK. Little did he realise that he created multi-millionaires of these exiles. Nor did he realise that one day he will too be exiled – and die in an exiled country – Saudi Arabia!

Last week I had some problems – again on ‘services’ – and as the usual unflinching M – I had phoned first to their Head Offices. Not getting any cheers, I decided to go to their website and put in ‘my beef’ – so to speak! I then followed it with an email to the Top Brass of the place. Sure enough from the top echelon came the response – Access Denied.

Image Proud!

Truthfully from those in the lower levels came a positive response. So I phoned back to one and asked him most tactfully and diplomatically as I could – after even the abruptness and unnecessary provocation and insult! So I asked him why were my emails being returned to me? He sarcastically retorted that the BIG PEOPLE have no time for such trifles. So I asked him again – Did you mean trifles things – or trifle people? Knowing that I was trying to corner and trap him he just said to me just – Trust me – we are looking into your complaint – and we shall handle it soonest. But I had time still to say – if a VIP had emailed him – he would certainly not send back that email!

Image Pride (and Prejudice!)

A few months ago I had a similar issue and dispute with another establishment – sadly and tragically always in the news – and how good they are! I was impressed when the Secretary called me to say that the ‘Big Man’ himself wanted to talk to me! Came on to my best behaviour and performances! So he asked me – do we talk in English or in Arabic? I retorted – whichever you prefer! Then he reprimanded me saying (in English!) – That this person that you are complaining about? I can give him my heart and soul – and I can go to sleep – and when I awake up – he will give them back to me!

I do not know how that would have been possible – so M being M – I retorted to him that just now by your comments – you have left the fold of our Religion – by associating man with God – because only God can take a soul (heart) and return it – not a human being! That seemed to upset him a lot and went into almost vulgarities – unfortunately was not taping him! He said things about how negative you are in outlooks – and it was a big mistake this newspaper was giving you a column to write!

The Peacock Proud!

ImagesPride –  For Demonstration Purposes Only!

So to add fire to fuel – I retorted back – not a column – but two my friend! The word ‘friend’ coming from me seemed to upset him all the more! I had a very long hearty laugh to myself – when twists and ironies of life – he accused me of being ‘with chips on your shoulders – and a very proud pompous person!

Yesterday I had a long overdue chat with my son. He was lamenting to me that his friends found him ‘very open and receptive – and in speaking his mind’. They asked him how it was that he was different from them – that they had sort of a closed mind – and not open to raise issues openly on the front – instead of complaining in the back and behind scenes! And to where did he get his courage – and guts from?

So my son told them – my father has got it (this) from his father. His father had brought them up ‘not to be afraid and scared’ – speak the TRUTH always – and speak openly their mind – their concerns and worries – and not to be afraid and fearful except to the Good Lord only! If someone respects you – you must also reciprocate. But never allow anyone to scare, bully or push you down! Yes – his friends – said we can see now why we are different – because nobody had encouraged us that way and not to be afraid – but all just the opposite!

I can see that now happening with even my grandchildren! The other day I was teasing my granddaughter T where her housemaid had gone? She retorted – Granny how many times must I tell you that she has returned to Philippines? I was laughing to myself all inside me – that in another house hold she would have received a slap from different people for ‘insulting Granny!’

In the early 1970s when our families returned to Oman – I was just chatting mildly with a peer on mild issues – when he came in guns blazing – you have no right to talk anything on this matter! When I queried him why – he retorted – you were not born here! So please shut your trap – unsaid! I sadly looked at him and said – My friend – do you think being born in a place is the only criteria that matters? He retorted back yes – and I reminded him in a very tactful and diplomatic way why he was very wrong and misguided!

The saddest and tragic part was he was just a poor working person like me – and if the worst came to the worst I at least could use my father, great Mother and grandparents as ‘being a chip and part of the old block’! Unfortunately for him – he could not do the same – but yet had the pride in him to silence all others! I can now understand and appreciate now why my son is that much worried and concerned too!

Take Care!

By:-

Majid Al Suleimany

 Posted at: www.majidall.com and at www.majidwrite.com

The Changing Offices!

Between Us Only!

The Changing Offices Syndromes!

Or The Fast Moving Allegiances and Changes!

Or The New Future!

A         The Introduction

As a now fully retired Human Resources (HR) Professional – I have never forgotten my role and responsibility that I represent my Company (and the Management) – even if in default I will go on forward to fight for the employees’ rights – and as part of the HR role, responsibilities and role in professionalism, principles and ethics. In actual fact I personally for one do not see any conflict or contrast between the two roles – but more as complimentary – for the well-being, interests and future for the establishment.

Sometimes you have to take the role of one side to the other as a situation develops – but in the final analysis your ability to balance the roles is what makes you as that successful HR Executive – or not! Even if you know that at the end of the day – you know who is paying you – but you have to think outside the box – look at the bigger picture – because in the end it has to be for the overall well-being and the interests for the company. That is why HR jobs are really difficult, hard and complex – compared to many others – because you become as ‘The Conscience’ of the Company!

This even if some in the senior Management (The Board) do not see it this way – and may even give you colourings and labels like – being the rebel – being short focused – and even as not being a Team Player! If not even worse scenarios like – time he is sent away – or we do not need him anymore!

 

Images – The Omani Future!

B         The Recent Incident

I was reading this incident of a case of an Expatriate GM being fired by The Company Board by him just receiving an email from The Chairman – and just finding his name in the Press that ‘he was terminated and no longer representing the Company’. I guess that if I was working in this place – my name would have come up next – because in all my career life I have always fought against such abrupt short cut routes – which gives a bad image and impression of the company – and makes other staff feel really worried and concerned – because they will be saying to themselves – if this can happen to such Senior people – what about the rest of us?

Mind you – I do not personally vet for stoppages and strikes as a tool and weapon for people to be heard and to be listened to – but sometimes because the Management had started the abruptness and the short cuts – lack of ethics, principles and professionalism – they should not be surprised at what turns up next – and this mine – I told you so! – has been mainly instrumental in curtailing and marginalising my career and progression – when people willfully and purposely do things to make me mad so I can quit – or if I do not then get hit in other ways!

Like in the last place – my junior assistant being planned to be my future boss – and a peer that I out pass in all aspects and in performance – has already become my boss even! But even there I had hanged on – and who was that guy laughing all his way to the bank – after ‘so-called voluntary early retirement’ – even if the action was in default and inadvertently!

 

Image – The Omani Future 2

I

mages – Omani Young Girl – For Demonstration Purposes Only!      

C     The Changing Allegiances!

In my mind I was saying to myself – this situation will evolve in one way or the other – either the GM will be reinstated – or the whole lots of employees will also be terminated – and that would be to me like pouring petrol over a cinder fire! Especially as the protesting employees are Omanis – and Omani led! Ironically and twistingly – for a reinstatement for an expatriate manager! And why?

Because they said – the GM had made so many pro-workers decisions – and likes to see Omanis being recruited and doing meaningful jobs. Thus infuriating some in the board that had a dim view of the guy – quote – ‘that we have found mistrust. As he was holding governing power in Oman operations, and was in the Senior most position. We had to remove him immediately after we found malpractices – unquote!

 Now don’t you find this ironic and funny at the same time? Omanis protesting that an expatriate GM has been given the boot – and at short notice? The pink slip? How many GMs are replaced or moved to higher labels position – but with no holding power or authority – or just made as Advisors – and all his advices and counsels go to file number 13 – the dustbin? But moved there just for image and publicity purposes – or that he does not cause harm and damage to the company in another way – either directly – or indirectly?

D         My Arab Management Books – www.myown-ebooks.com

Please see previous article here for images – or the above!.

I wrote about all these issues in my above books – let alone in my columns writings – and as far as in 2003 – 9 years ago! Starting with losing my job as a second time – this time from a Chinese company that led to my writing passionately and deeply emotionally traumatised in my the first Arab Management book – titled Psychology of Arab Management Thinking!

Last week I received this from a UK Reader – quote – Please go to the website of www.barnesandnoble.com – one of the biggest booksellers in the world – I gave you 4.5 stars out of 5 – and this is what I wrote about your book!

• A Great Read (4.5 stars)

This book does not only provide a fascinating insight into Majid’s life but also his raw, honest and sometimes eye opening emotional roller coaster career. It is a personal account, and his brutal honesty regarding different nationalities and those of his own country is recounted so well. A lot of clips from his columns but never mind!

I couldn’t put it down. The English, although not perfect (hey, even English have trouble!) is easy to read and paints a picture as though you are there yourself – unquote.

In my book – A Cry For Help! – Even the Publishers had said to me – quote – This book is definitely a forewarning, prophecy and premonition of The Arab Spring troubles. Frankly people should have read your book – because all the tell-tale warning precaution signs were there already – you were just highlighting and pointing them out to the others! Sad and tragic! – Unquote!

In this book I had also written what the British GM had said – When M left the place – the fresh air blowing over the dump heap – had the stale returned – blowing all over again! Poor guy – some in the top did not like it coming from him supporting me – and he too lost his job eventually!

Only ironically this time all the workers – and even the majority expatriates in the machine shop – had switched off the machines – triggering an alarm system in the Head Offices – because the machines were only to be switched off in case of fire and emergency? When the CEO called as to what was happening – he was told – All the employees – including the expatriates – were saying farewell to M! He just curtly replied – okay I understand!

What more can I say now?

Take Care!

Happy and Safe Enjoyable Eid!

By:-

Majid Al Suleimany

 Posted at: www.majidall.com and at www.majidwrite.com

My Books in Arab Management!

My Books in Arab Management (in English).

My Arab Management Books – as written by a Local (Arab /GCC)

A Psychology of Arab Management Thinking Book!

B A Cry For Help! – Context and Perspectives – Arabian Management Series.

Reviews – By Readers – A Sample Below!

• A Great Read

This book does not only provide a fascinating insight into Majid’s life but also his raw, honest and sometimes eye opening emotional roller coaster career. It is a personal account, and his brutal honesty regarding different nationalities and those of his own country is recounted so well. A lot of clips from his columns but never mind!

I couldn’t put it down. The English, although not perfect (hey, even English have trouble!) is easy to read and paints a picture as though you are there yourself

By Name Given – Barnes & Noble

See Others in The Following Sites Also –

Feel free to explore & self-search!

www.barnesandnoble.com

www.createspace.com

Borders

Amazon

Foyles

WHSmith etc

Or search by country.

Books in Hard Cover, Soft Cover and ebooks (Kindle, Nook etc)

Best Wishes and Regards,

Majid Al Suleimany – The Author

Muscat – Sultanate of Oman – October 23^rd 2012

For More Information and Details – please visit my books sites at –

www.myown-ebooks.com – www.majidbooks.com – and New Book on Road Safety Behind The Wheel! – above and also at www.bethesafedriver.com

Is It Acting Or Real? By Majid Al Suleimany

Between Us Only!

Is It Acting or Real?

Or Is It Just The Usual Plain Escapism and Bravados!

A          Abû Hurayrah relates that Allah’s Messenger (Peace be Upon Him) said:- From the perfection of a person’s Islam is his leaving alone what does not concern him – Al-Tirmidhî.

B          In the film titled The Kingdom – this person in uniform calls out towards the confused and dazed people – after a previous bomb has just exploded – to come towards him! As they rush mistakenly towards him – he blasts his bomb – and as the other suicide bomber!

B          What do you say to Ali Baba and The Forty Thieves if they declare that they are now reformed people – and are no longer stealing from others – even if they still have kept the loot – and have  not returned it to their rightful owners?

C         You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty – Ghandi

The Film – The Kingdom!

Image – Ghandi

I do not know about you – but I am always fascinated by these films where the hero is always in most dangers because some of the people that ‘control him’ formally are the same people behind the scenes that are acting to make his mission fail – and are hidden to him – in league with those forces that he is fighting against – to great risks and dangers of his own life and others with him in these pursuits! In the end he is somehow able to expose these elements – and as The Hero he never dies in the film – even if mortally wounded! That is the difference between reality and acting!

Out of all the species on earth – the Human Being is the most able to lie, cheat, pretend, betray and destroy another – as is the famous Caesar expression – Et Tu Brutus? Even you Brutus? And so many other examples – even in our own Religion – against even the Great Prophets sent on earth!

Image – Julius Caesar and Brutus!

Sometimes I ask myself that these people on missions – do they think that the rest of the world are just plain stupid, gullible and naive – to trust and believe everything they see or are told – swallow whole hook, sinker and bait? These people have so much guts and bravados that in the end they believe their own lies and deceptions – that they repeat and even exaggerate the same misconceptions and lies as being nothing but the truth – so help me God!

They simply have no fear or dread that there will come a time when they will be found out and be exposed – and continue unabated as the only smart and intelligent all knowing types – whilst the rest of us are dumb stupid gullible naive lots! Even if they know that God sees all – they still think that they will be able to cover their tracks – that they were really sincere and genuine – and really trying their level best in the good books to please – help and assist others in need – and to cover and protect – and they were on mission impossible to try all they could in this strive and mission!

Sometimes when I read the news or watch them on Television – I do not know whether to laugh or cry – the later is more easier to me now than the former used to be some time back! To the extent that when someone swears to me – I am telling you the truth here – I just look at him – and just say nothing!

Some may say M – you are becoming weak, depressive, old and suspicious of the whole world – and that is not good for yourself – nor your health and well being. Perhaps you have been hit so many times before from people that you had trusted and have let you down – betrayed you! You have become weak and untrusting – you have become suspicious to almost everybody – you feel you have been hurt and pained – and these things are best left behind – and continue with life! You are hurting all over – stop M – or you only end as The Loser!

Even that young girl in the Office told you the very same thing. She must be very smart and intelligent. When she almost begged you – Not to Quit! She said to you – Uncle- You cannot change people. You cannot change the world. You cannot make them be like what you want them to be to satisfy and make you happy! You must take them as they are. If there has to be change – it must be you – and come inside from you – to accept people as they really are – and not be like what you want them to be!

A famous expression you use yourself – go by the tide – otherwise it will drown you!. Or as the Great Man Ghandi had said – You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty!

Do you remember the story of the old African woman you used to quote before? The old woman who was considered as a witch – but yet she liked and respected you? That fateful day when she called you and asked you – Son – do you like chicken? And you dreaded that she was going to cook or give you one already cooked – and you would find it difficult to decline – especially if she insisted on you to eat with her? Then do you remember what this old woman said to you? Do you? She said to you – If you follow the chicken – and see what it eats – you will never eat a chicken again in your life! Even if you like chicken! There was sound advice and counsel there! Remember?

Image – A Chicken!

And when your youngest daughter saw you crying? She said to you – Dad – Please! – and the very same words the young girl had said to you in The Office. These are The Future – they are young – but yet they can see, hear and speak! And very wise and knowing too! Intelligent and smart too! Change is there – trust me!

Do not worry M – the acts, charades and pretences cannot continue forever. Like you say too – There is nothing for surety and permanent in life – except God and Death only! So your daughter begged you – please leave things to God – only He Knows best! Take care of yourself and your health only – even the rest of us do not matter for now! So too even these small things that are troubling you now alot…….!

Take Care!

Happy and Safe Enjoyable Eid!

By:-

Majid Al Suleimany

 Posted at: www.majidall.com and at www.majidwrite.com

Stop Imploring and Start Living!

Sat, 20 October 2012

OUTLOOK — By Mohammed Anwar Al Balushi —  The Oman Daily Observer – October 20th 2012.

The act of Imploring is the circumstance where nobody wishes to be at the tip. This circumstance emerges in many places. It emerges at workplaces, it emerges in the society, and it even emerges at public places. Even so, this act of ‘imploring’ has many colours and forms, as well. It has many reasons and pretexts. Some people beg for financial reasons and some others beg for higher positions at workplace. Different people beg for different things and rationales. It really masquerades one way or the other.

How would you define such kind of people? Do people still need to ‘beg’ in this age of knowledge, educations, information, various technologies, disciplines, systems, respects, and hard work? Do you have to beg someone to finish your work in any public institution? You need not do so as this is your right and their job to finish it. It is at all not a good idea or a definite demand to implore or force people into such kind of circumstances.

It has been noticed in many organisations that employers put their employees into the situations where the employees don’t have any other alternative except to beg for increment and promotion, as an example. Although the ‘employees’ are hard working and smart, sadly and unfortunately they do tend to implore. How come an employee who is working hard and meeting the objective and target of the organisation still has to beg for higher positions and for other benefits?

Is it because of the behaviour of some bosses who feel happy to see their employees are begging them for favours of various kinds? And after this they can show themselves as the most ‘powerful’ persons in the management. Once the employee gets a promotion the ‘boss’ anticipates him or her to prostrate themselves in front of them. Such culture should not be encouraged any more. People are not born to implore at any stage in of their life.

You should not accept for yourself a situation that requiores one to implore after having so many competencies and skills. If you fall into such a situation just remind yourself of the facts: Why did you go to school? Why do people go for further education and studies? Why do parents send their children to school? Why do students study hard and score excellent marks? Why have people been given the power to think and decide? And why have people been given the power to compare between the ‘good’ and ‘bad’?
All this is because of the fact that one has to have a respectful place and better living standard in the society.

You do not have to ‘beg’ for a job. If you are fit and capable you should get it. Do schools, colleges and universities teach the subject of ‘beg/implore’? If they do then: go for further research about it — and learn about what ‘imploring’ means?

What are the positive and negative impact of begging at the workplace and in the society? If they don’t teach this subject then: why you accept it for yourself?

One of the poets namely Murad Saher had once said that: “People should never run after a piece of bread by ignoring their dignity and recognition”. In fact people can’t survive without a piece of bread, but that bread should come from your hard work.
On the other hand people will lose their respect, dignity, and recognition in the society if they ‘beg’ and go for cheap bread. Once such situation comes in life then we can comprehend that person is dying every moment because he/she had already gone in for a compromise. They will be living in the circle of ‘slavery’ and depending on others for the rest of their lives. People should not work hard to beg but to achieve.

They must work hard to not to allow others to beg. Aubin Hil, the former CEO of National Bank of Oman, used to say that: “Never go for easy things, go for the right things” or “Do not go in for easy jobs but the right job”. Eventually, to beg is the easiest thing to do in ones life.

Profound people never implore. They find ways and means for working hard and for accomplishing their dreams. Nelson Mandela was forced to beg. He refused and preferred to go to prison rather than begging.
Al Hallaj ‘Mansour’ the poet who wrote poems on Sufism was asked to give up and beg. He refused and preferred death. Steve jobs was more than once asked to beg and give up. He refused too and continued his journey. Strong men make their destiny by himself.

No matter how far and intricate the journey is. No matter how many blocks and obstacles there are in his way. No matter how many times he falls down. He has to wake up because he needs to go with you or without you. No matter what he achieves and what he doesn’t not he never implores to anyone. That man can exist in you too. Let him come out.

 

The African Touch!

Between Us Only!

The African Touch!

A                     The Island (Mafia aka Chole) 

When I was a young boy in this island I grew up in East Africa (Mafia – not the Italian one) but the Arabic one for the place (island) without (she without) – there were a lot of scare and weird stories there.  These are not tales that I was told, but had actually experienced myself, family and or by my close friends!

 

Images – Above – Our Old House and Shop – And The Friday Ijumaa Masjid in Kirongwe Mafia (Family Contributed!)

For example? Like cars cutting off engines whenever they reached one special baobab tree, especially after evening prayers (Maghrib) and for no reason. It never happened when our late father (pbuh) was there! In one incident when it happened, my late father shot in the air – and the truck mysteriously restarted!

There was this beautiful damsel wandering in the night (very tall fair Arab lady).  They said she was a ‘Jinn’ (ghost, fairy) trying to trap gullible (and usually drunk) men. It was said she actually walks through walls.  If that will not scare you to run (and forget all others ideas you had in your head) what else will? I never met her – but our houseboy did! We heard his screams late at night!

 One old Bedouin (Omani) telling my father one day early morning ‘that our grandmother had died in Hail Al-Ghaaf (Quriyaat)’.  In those days mails took a month, when the letter was received, it was the exact date (the man had insisted to my disbelieving late father to write down the date!).

 It was said this man traveled at night (how – do not ask me! I never asked him, nor did I want to find out!) to and back to Oman.  To prove his point, he had fresh ripening dates in his house (guess nobody ate them except himself, who else in his right mind would want to try?) It was always in summer time – I came only to know when I returned to Oman in 1972 was the time of dates!

 There were so many stories In this island, of so many stories of people changing into ‘cats and monkeys’ and coming to people’s houses (we used to think our poor dad (pbuh) had lost it, when he used to shout at them in Arabic to go away, and they actually did!).

 There is also this one! How my late elder brother (pbuh) beat a cat badly because it ate his food.  Next day he was seriously sick, everybody said he was a goner. They had to go to apologise to an old African man who looked like he was just beaten up!  Only then my brother recovered.

 

Images Secondary School, High School and Colleges Respectively! Guess where I am!

B                     The Painful Hurting Song!

 In hindsight now – I guess there were mistakes on both sides – and we need to close the chapters of the past in history and in moving forward now – for at least the future relationships between people and for humanity – and even for history too! 

Images Young Me at 15!

But one of the most painful song was hearing this in the islands after the Revolution was this song – And those? Let them return to their country! It was in Swahili but in Taarab music – which anyway was originated from Arabic music! I had asked my late father – as a young boy of 14 – why are they still singing this song to us – after all the things that have happened to us? For some it maybe still difficult to forget and forgive – but there is only bodily and mind harm by keeping all these still boiling inside us now. See next story! 

C                     The Cynical Boss! 

He was asking me in which place (hotel) I had stayed in the Islands (main one) – and I told him that it was near the Airport and was called R Hotel. He said sarcastically to me – if it is the near the sea too – those were our farms before! He was very bitter about it. I was amazed by his vehement reactions – until then he was always cool and controlled! 

D                     Poor – but satisfied – and happy! 

I have said this so many times in my columns and books too – so is nothing new! In 2007 before Gonnu struck us – I had been to our still remaining family islands in story above A. What a lesson I really learnt was them cooking extra food at home for the lesser privileged and advantaged! They were really amazed and shocked when I asked them why they were doing this – when they themselves were in need and not in that good financial position even! They said to me – what is the big deal? It is just food! Allah has given us – and whatever we have we share with others – so Allah God can give us all more.

 In my mind I guess that if I was not initially respected by them – they would have told me to go away. I found this in many other houses I visited – and in many other places. The customs and traditions of being satisfied and happy with whatever you have – or can get – was very revealing and learning – at least to me!

 There were some elder people that were planning to go to Hajj that year! One came back to repay me a loan he took from my late Father shop – just amounting to our Omani Rials 3. He was so happy I had been there to receive it. I turned it down – and he wanted me to repeat three times that I had forgiven him on behalf of my late Father. He told me – okay I will cook more food today to share with others – but you must come too! Simple people – satisfied and happy with the little they have!

 Of course in each basket there are good and bad eggs (fish, fruit!) – but this trip in 2007 before Gonnu was a great learning experience to me! Incidentally I have many other quotes and examples in my books and in my columns – like all the above. As a band leader of my primary school – marching to the tune of the country just getting its Independence in 1961!

We as Omanis should always be eternal grateful for having such wise far sighted pragmatic leadership and renaissance – and we should all strive to nurture, protect and preserve what we have – Amin Amen

Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

ADDED

E                      The Haunted Hotel Room

The hotel Reception offered me this room on the top floor. It was at a reduced rate. The Reception Staff lady said to me – You are Omani. So you will be okay in the room! I refused to take chances – and rightly too – as it emerged that the room was haunted – and there was an evil presence in the room. Next morning the people found themselves on the floor thrown from the bed – in the bath tub – and hearing angry hissing voices – like get out from my master’s bed!

I would have discounted this as just whim. But I met someone later one I knew well who had tried the room – and met exactly the same fate. It seemed the hotel was housed in a large family house belonging to an ex Omani famous family. Some of the family members were massacred in the Revolution – and the rest had all left the place soon afterwards!

Image – Mafia Island Map.

Images – Mafia Island – Tanzania.

See also www.mas-trac.com – Investment in Mafia Island.

Young Marriages In Troubles!

Between Us Only!

Young Marriages In Troubles!

I have found out that one of the advantages and privileges of working as a Professional in Human Resources in Companies – is this element of being able to meet especially the young entrants – and get to know them better in their hopes, aspirations and dreams in life – what makes them tick – and what does not! Perhaps because of my ‘accepting face’ and or my showing of interests to them – they open up and confide to me their hopes, fears, worries – and even dreams and fantasies in life! I become more like a Father figure that you can talk to also – and not just that guy behind the desk as the HR Official – whether Manager – or later on as Consultant, Expert and Advisor!

I also came to realise the hard way that some families do not talk to each other – I guess more in father to son and vice versa – than daughters to mothers and vice versa! I think the later has more openings for rapport and discussions – if even I remember my own early younger life with my own late father – and even late uncles – because we were the same cut and chip of the old block!

I remember this incident in which I was teasing one of my nephews as to why he was only getting boys – and how he could try now to get some girls. Something crude that for sure I will not say here – even if the paper were ready to print it! My nephew turned red and blue – and he was literally gasping for breath – and he told his mother that uncle had ‘insulted me today by saying…’! Then his mother told him – your uncle is an open approachable person – and you should see the jokes that he cracks with his son – even daughters too – and not like your father – who still has ‘colonial leanings’ of the past!

Images – Marriages In Trouble – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

When I was walking in one of the GCC countries early 2003s, I was amazed at the divide between the sexes – even between the National young ones males and females – completely different from us here in Oman. I got my fingers burnt many times here – and on hindsight I now believe could have contributed to my position being early localised. Two incidents come to mind – one when the mobile of the girl ringing continuously for over 15 minutes as the girl was out. I realised there must be an emergency – so I in error picked up the phone.

Images – Marriages In Trouble – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

Though there was a real family emergency – but the husband did not like it – and he ‘reported me’ to the Senior Management – and they thought it very dim on my proactive move! The second was passing an honest and sincere compliment to one of the pretty young lasses in my office – who took it wrongly – and again passed her grievances to the top brass – who then asked me to keep my hands, mouth and eyes glued instead to my job front – than what I was doing now!

Which made me realise much further on in life that there was a wide rift and divergence between our own and them – even if we would like to think we are basically and fundamentally the same – but in reality we are not. Which brings me to the realisation that was the reason why there were a lot of marriage problems in that place – even amongst the young ones!

And why the place had a high divorce rate starting from a day, 3 months and 2 years. The rate – even in these periods of time – was even reaching 33% of all such marriages. Despite there being a fund for locals marriages – but still the boys were marrying outsiders – and not their own – and the girls lamenting that even if older – but they would prefer elder type like M – who can joke, tease and is all approachable!

In my last few jobs, I found the same problems were now also confronting us even here with our own young – completely opposite our own generations! Both the girls and the boys – even recently married ones – were saying to me ‘why they are worried and concerned – and not happy in their lives even! Many of the cases of the marriages were sort of arranged more – and they came to know each other only after marriages!

Even for those couples that knew each other before – or were ‘in love’ before getting married. They said to me that the husband is suddenly found to be possessive, jealous and envious – and wants to control, subjugate and control. And the bigger part is finances – and how much the wife earns! And the young lasses not wanting to lose their say and freedom – and certainly their money! Some even earn more than the husband – and some very near – in actual fact more of these lots than those that earn significantly lower.This is not the person I knew – is the common cry and lament!

The red lines are usual the same stuff of money and controls – selfishness rather that jointly – and consumerism plays a big part in the divisions and the discords – even after the children are born. I, in HR, had so many cases of those that took jointly housing loans and joint accounts getting their cases and court decisions sent to us – and in many cases is like that seriously sick patient – before he dies finally in final divorces!

In one of the cases that I was involved – this young male graduate came to me with a letter endorsed by his Sheikh that his wife’s salary – also a graduate – who earned more than him! – should be transferred to his personal account. I told him even if your wife agreed – the company will NOT be able to do that – and the same is a universal rule – but you can ask your banks to do that – if there is a joint written consent and agreement.

As I said in my last article – this new trend amongst our own to be aggressive and abusive when things do not go in their favour – needs to be nipped in the bud now – before there is a tear in the national fabric – and raising up of more selfish individualist younger future generations – that only think subjectively of themselves only – and that is why even amongst the young – there is so much turmoil and trouble now – starting with their marriages even!

My ears still ring hot in this cry from one young boy I know in sort of related – Uncle – I always wanted to marry a pretty and well paid wife – but I soon came to realise the hard way – that all that glitters is not gold – and she is in reality a very ugly and unpleasant person – in our fights she smashed all the plates that we got as wedding presents! Frankly I am afraid of her now Uncle! – he almost pleaded to me!

We the elders and the Religious Elders need to sit down and impart with our young on the importance and sanctity of marriages – and being together as one – and share and share alike as a couple – raising their children together. Move away from being narrow minded, subjective, self-centred, selfishness and being suspicious – avoid trying to control, manipulate and subjugate others -otherwise there are just bigger troubles only ahead of us!

Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

 Posted at: www.majidall.com  and at www.majidwrite.com

Need To Review The Outlooks! The New Areas of Concern and Worry!

Between Us Only!

Need To Review The Outlooks!

Or The New Areas of Concern and Worry!

Like I had said last week in my articles – I wrote on this before in my columns – before things went more bad for me! Yet this same place is always in the news too! How misguided and misinformed our own are and can be! That is why even after leaving them – they still cannot stop the hatred towards me – because nobody wants to hear the REAL TRUTH being said! I also said – In my career life,  I have said on things that others chose to ignore – not because I was not saying the truth or on the realities in life – and people did not realise this – but people were either just disinterested – and or chose not to get involved!

AImages Press – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

nd finally – Like I always say in my columns and in my books too – there comes a time in our lives when you have to make really hard and tough decisions – of what your next step and future is going to be. You must make those decisions because the situation can no longer be allowed to go on in your life. Your own intuition and gut feelings tell you that you must make this decision – even that thin distant voice in you is pleading to you to ‘make that decision – and go for it’!

I make the call again!

Images Press – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

There are three incidents that have happened to me to make me realise that it is time that we wake up from this deep slumber that some of us are still in – and think big and outside of the box at least once in our lives – before it can be too late to do so. Two of the incidents are recently – and one a few months back – but this one I saw the results – which was nothing new and or surprising!

Incident Number One –

There are three incidents that have happened to me to make me realise that it is time that we wake up from this deep slumber that some of us are still in – and think big and outside of the box at least once in our lives – before it can be too late to do so. Two of the incidents are recently – and one a few months back – but this one I saw the results – which was nothing new and or surprising!

Incident Number One – I was minding my own business at home when this guy ex peer calls me during my afternoon nap to talk on something that he wants me ‘to help him in writing’ – because you are good in these things! There is a party for Retirees Staff and he wanted to raise some issues ‘on behalf of others’ at this party (which I had decided already not to attend anyway in my article I wrote at the time last year). So I tactfully and diplomatically cautioned him that at these types of gatherings of people meeting to enjoy themselves was not the time ‘to raise such issues! There was a time and place for everything! But he kept insisting for me ‘to get involved’ – which initially I was against in doing – for my own personal and private reasons.

He then read to me a least of grievances and gripe he wanted to raise at this gathering. I again cautioned and warned him to ‘leave these things alone – because so many times the same things have been said in the past – and no definite changes seen yet! Some people will just not change – if I remember correctly – those were my exact words! Besides I told him – leave these things to The Committee (he was not a member anyway!) to re-raise again at the right time – but definitely not at this gathering. I reminded him on the points already raised before – so why raise them again now!

He later on did not like this – and became abusive (Why? What for? and he gave me ‘a piece of his mind!’ Reminds me of a cartoon of a wife screaming that ‘I am losing my mind’ – and the husband retorting nothing surprising and new – you have been giving me a piece of it for the last 20 years! He said things like you ‘being a puppet Company man’ – and I found that being very funny – and sad too! Anyway…!

A bit later on very good friend of mine had sent to me the following message – after the same Office Party for Retirees -– see my article The Dawn of Lost Respects – www.majidwrite.com  – The message said – Dear M – I missed you today my friend. I went around looking for you and I even asked your brother – but you were nowhere to be found. I hope you are okay and well – we really missed your presence today – and remembering all those good times we all had in the past. Take care of yourself my friend!

Another said almost the very same thing – and adding – Your absence was visibly and well felt by almost everybody – and it just shows how esteemed and respected you are by the Omani Staff. Again worry of how you are doing. For me – even if you get one such ‘missed you’ note after so long – then your work has been done for you! It just brought tears to my eyes!

* The Winning Photo – See Below!

 

Incident Number Two – Again at home minding my own business – when this Indian Journalist from another newspaper called me! They were writing an article on Road Safety and he ‘had heard’ (sic!) that I wrote a book on Road Safety – a Novel type of book – of victims stories etc. So I was explaining to him – when he curtly cuts me out – and saying that ‘he will call me again later’ – which he never did! Perhaps he was expecting that I will be so desperate for coverage – and call him again – Sir, why you did not call me again? Sir, why? I just ignored him – because the book to be published has already received sufficient coverage – one more or less will not make that much difference!

Frankly, I think this Media and Press are an arena where more serious thoughts and consideration should be given for more Omanisation – with so many young Omanis graduating in Mass Communications and related – instead of them ending as Admin Assts, Secretaries and PROs – and that too if they are lucky! With fast shifting changes, alliances and allegiances – this sector needs more reviews and consideration in Omanisation – even if a lot of errors and mistakes will be made in the beginning in ‘trials and errors’ – but we need to think of the future, destiny and legacy –  and our well being – first and foremost – here!

Incident Number Three. This was an incident a few months back. Here was a European lady doing a cover story about Omani Publishers and their issues and problems. The meeting took off well – and then a few days later after arranging to meet – she throws a bombshell saying she cannot cover me – ‘because I come from a competing newspaper!

 I retorted to her that my books – as an Omani Author of books in English – have got nothing specifically to do  with me being a Columnist – and I do not see the correlation the least – especially if the focus and the intention is to write about issues and problems we Omani Authors face in the society. I then remembered that I got the same responses before when I wanted especially the Arab Management books to be covered by them! At least they replied a sort of polite NO – the others did not even bother!

I do not know in which direction and where we are moving in our society now – but all the tell-tale signs and current focuses are – to say the very least – very much worrisome and concerning – at least perhaps to me!

May the Good Lord direct us in the right ways and path – Amin Amen. Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

* The Winning Photo – See Below!

Winning Photo –  

“The winning photo shows a poignant, compassionate moment, the human consequence of an enormous event, an event that is still going on,” said chairman Aidan Sullivan. “We might never know who this woman is, cradling an injured relative, but together they become a living image of the courage of ordinary people that helped create an important chapter in the history of the Middle East.”

o-SAMUEL-ARANDA-WORLD-PRESS-PHOTO-570[1]

Why We Are Failing! By Majid Al Suleimany

 

For Sunday October 7^th 2012

My Website – www.majidwrite.com

Between Us Only!

Why We Are Failing!

Lack of professionalism, ethics and principles – Why We Are Failing!

This article is shown in full also in my new website www.majidwrite.com

Frankly, if I have to sum it all up in one sentence – I can elaborate in saying – that it is all due to the problems that we are all facing us now all over – and failing badly – is all due to this great craved hunger to always to try to frighten, intimidate, control, dominate and manipulate others.

I will share with you today this email from a good Indian friend of mine! Quote –

Image Ghandi

Lovely Presentation – Why We Fail! – By Ghandi

1        Lack of Persistence.

More people fail not because they lack knowledge or talent but because they quit. The total secret of success lies in two words – persistence and resistance. Persist in what must be done and resist what ought not to be done. When problems seem insurmountable, quitting seems the easiest way out. Winners are struck but not destroyed. We all have setbacks in life. Failing does not mean we are failures.

2.       Lack of Conviction.

People who lack conviction take the middle road; and guess what happens in the middle of the road? You get run over! People without a conviction do not take a stand! They go along to get along because they lack confidence and courage. They conform in order to get accepted even when they know that what they are doing is wrong! They behave like part of a herd.

3.       Rationalizing.

Winners may analyse but never rationalize. That is a Losers game. Losers will always have a book of excuses to tell you why they could not. We hear excuses like – I am unlucky – I am born under the wrong stars – I am not good looking – I don’t have contacts – I don’t have enough money – The economy is bad – If only I had the opportunity and If only I didn’t have a family!

4        Not Learning From Past Mistakes,

Some people live and learn – and some only live! Wise people learn from their mistakes. People who do not learn lessons from history are doomed. Failure is a Teacher – if we have the right attitude. Failure is a detour – not a dead end. It is a delay – not a defeat. Experience is the name we give to our mistakes. 

5        Lack of Discipline.

Anyone who has accomplished anything worthwhile has never done so without discipline. Discipline takes self-control, sacrifice, and avoiding distractions and temptations. It means staying focused. Steam does not move the engine unless it is confined. Niagara Falls would not generate power unless it was harnessed.

6        Poor Self Esteem

Poor Self Esteem is a lack of self-respect and self-worth. It leads to abuse of one’s self and others too. People with low self-esteem are constantly looking for identity. They are trying to find themselves. One’s self is not to be found but to be created. Idleness and laziness are consequences of poor self-esteem – and so is making excuses. Idleness is like rust that eats into the most brilliant metal.

7        Fatalistic Attitude

A Fatalistic Attitude prevents people from accepting responsibility for their position in life. They attribute success and failure to luck. They resign themselves to their fate. They believe and accept the predestined factor written in their horoscope or stars – that regardless of their efforts whatever has to happen will happen. Hence they never put in any effort and complacency becomes a way of life. They wait for things to happen rather than make things happen.

Namaste!

So the next time you want to blame someone – or find an excuse why you failed (or failing) – remember the words of The Great Man. – Unquote. 

If you are a General Manager – micro-managing and your mind is controlled by simple and small things like how the Cleaner cleans the floor – and leaves the dirt behind – or how many spoons of sugar a staff puts in his cup of coffee or tea – and yet you are in charge of an operating budget of millions of dollars – how can the two merge to be a successful operation – when your mind and everything else – is this defeatist self-centred selfish outlook ‘not to spend money’ – as if it comes from your own pocket – and is your own money? Yet this same person has no hang ups or whims to buy an expensive company car – and all the benefits and comforts for his own personal office and ego! 

A few years ago in one GCC country The Head of Marketing called all his Sales and Marketing Staff to ‘give them a piece of his mind – and lecture on – either you do – or! You know the usual ritual stuff – if not – you are fired! But what took a dramatic and twisted turn was he putting all the staff names in a box – and asking one staff to choose pick  ‘three names from the box’ – that he was going to fire that day – as a lesson (encouragement and motivation!) to the rest! Luckily for the poor chooser – that he did not pick his own name. That would have been suicidal! The staff were so much antagonized and traumatized – that the news reached outside the office – to the press – and to the rest of us! 

Now this was a typical case where sales were fluctuating. So to save his own neck – he was turning the guns ‘like that General to his own troops’ – as is my favourite quote! And this is where the problems lay!

With the Top Senior Management and The Board wanting to get excuses and reasons – the scape goats’ syndrome – and letting others do the ‘dirty works’ – and if the situation would eventually explode – as it does in many cases! –  new scape goats would again be found (Animal Farm!)! 

 If he is very lucky and fortunate the GM would be transferred to a quickly artificial created position of Head of Corporate Strategic Business Development Director (Advisor in other places!). Otherwise in very few rare cases he will be seen to the door – by the Security Staff – as we see in the films! But these things – trust me – do not happen in real life – at least ours! 

During the time of my Consultancy business when it was on its death-bed – I had people (all expatriates of course!) – that came to me with their salary deductions statements – because the outstanding amount that was payable by us – was being deducted from the poor man’s salary – as if he was responsible for us not paying! Remember the deductions were carried out by mainly expatriate heads – though there were some isolated cases of not to be left behind – ‘instructions from the local heads’ too! How wicked and vicious one can get? 

Images Failure For Demonstration Purposes Only!

In my career life of over 40 years – I have noticed this. Especially emanating from our own in running their businesses per se! As soon as he (or she!) is nominated for the high position he will introduce quick dramatic drastic changes – and the most crystal clear ones are that he is now surrounded by people (cronies!) that he can always trust – and remove those of his own that he perceives as ‘a threat to his own position and standing’ – and that includes people like his own peers! 

Especially those from within (or few outside cases – which he cannot touch much!) shortlisted for his position – before he got it! Trust me – I am speaking from personal experiences and exposures here – and I have so many cases to prove these too! Even in my Arab Management books! Read my article 8 years ago – The Offices Mini-Dictators! 

The most sad, pathetic and tragic part is this mistaken illusion and connotation that – you must be surrounded by ‘only expatriates – and encourage all high positions in the future to be reserved and to be kept for the expatriates’ – with due respects to our expatriates – as they too become victims from their own in many means and ways too! 

Personally, I have nothing against expatriates recruitment – if in reality there is a vacuum from available within local talents and expertise – but what about outside your offices? Did you try at all? Frankly too – nor do I believe in artificial window dressings – of putting Omanis as Heads and Top Positions – that are there just for the show – and just for signing approvals and payments – for The Press – whilst all the hard, dirty and all other works are done by expatriates. 

In one of the interviews in one so-called National Company – they gave me to do an entry College trade test in Human Resources – which I refused to do! Given to me by fellow Omanis – and sadly and tragically not even Human Resources experiences and exposures like me even! But then he got a Doctorate in Human Resources – and for sure do not be ‘surrounded by fellow Omanis – especially real qualified HR Professionals’ – because they will expose and find you out! Bring in that pretty expatriate woman with all smiles and charms – and mistakenly thinking ‘she will not talk’! She will surely still talk – with her friends at home – and you are not there to hear it! Yet smile and wink at you in the offices! 

I wrote on this before in my columns – before things went more bad for me! Yet this same place is always in the news too! How misguided and misinformed our own are and can be! That is why even after leaving them – they still cannot stop the hatred – because nobody wants to hear the REAL TRUTH being said!

What more can I say now?

Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

The Dawn of Lost Respects! By Majid Al Suleimany

The Dawn of Lost Respects!

Losing Respects and Legitimacy!

• Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to
  you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what
  happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens – Khalil Gibran
• The one who does not know you; will not value you – East African Saying
• Even if you hate me; I will still tell you the truth! – Another
• The problems that we are all facing us now all over – is all due to this great craved hunger to always intimidate, control, dominate and manipulate others.

What do you say to someone that you have always respected and committed to in all your life – and lets you down so badly – disappoints you so badly – and makes you feel that all the loyalties, dedications, commitments were just wasted energies, efforts and exercises?

How does a child feel when the parent (or elder) behaves in a very strange awkward weird and disappointing way – that is so shameful, disgraceful and degrading – and something that shames and betrays – to the extent that you no longer have any more respects nor esteem for him? That he has hurt you badly – let alone the disappointment and the painful realisation! Shows you crystal clear that you have wasted and destroyed your career, your life and even your future for nothing? All wasted and gone?

To the extent that though the suspicion may have existed that he may be capable of doing such things – but you always thought better of him – and you never expected to see it being realised and come into reality. You ask yourself then – and again – why did I ever respect this person in my life? It becomes as just wasted energies, efforts and loyalties!  

When you esteem and respect someone – is it because you are afraid of him? Or is it because you may want something from him? Some favour or reward from him? Or could it be that the respects are natural, sincere and genuine – and you really care and feel? Or is it because you want him to look at you in ‘good eyes’ – because otherwise there may come danger and harm to you – and especially from his side or direction?

In my career life, I have always wondered how some individuals survive ‘very nasty bad bosses’ – and are actually even their likes and favourites – whilst the rest of us suffer and in dangers! Afraid not because we respect him in reality – but despise him – and have the highest contempt for him – but are afraid to show it – because in exposing your true feelings and grit – it will be you that will suffer the most? Not him and his cronies – but only you!

You have to go along and pretend that you do respect him when he is around – or within earshot of him and his spies and cronies? Is this acting, facade and pretensions not really taxing and hard on you – especially when he insults, ridicules you – and makes you small, inferior and fair game – and when in need of his ego busting exercises – and show off to his cronies – and you are the victim of his whims and craze – to boost his ego? Thinking to himself that he is still powerful, controlling, dominating and manipulating – and nothing – simply nothing – can touch him!

Like I always say in my columns and in my books too – there comes a time in our lives when you have to make really hard and tough decisions – of what your next step and future is going to be. You must make those decisions because the situation can no longer be allowed to go on in your life. Your own intuition and gut feelings tell you that you must make this decision – even that thin distant voice in you is pleading to you to ‘make that decision – and go for it’!

In my first article in this column – titled More Dangerous and Troubled Waters Ahead – and dated April 23^rd 2003 – over nine years ago – I said – Quote –   …..But then the Iraq war dawned on us, and it took a dramatic turn to write something else on ‘the war’ instead ….. I was the sole voice who said we should prepare for the war and the contingencies in retrospect. I got on a scare technique to frighten expatriates (or was it I was anti-expatriate) and beating up the war ‘drums’.  On the 17^th January, 1991 –   I was vindicated …. Yet after that meeting I was the loneliest person on the face of the earth – with even my pees turning up against me! – Unquote.

My career prospects and future were tarnished and killed – because I had the courage and guts to stand up – and make my voice heard – and not take things the easy convenient and comfortable way by going along with the popular majority ‘do-not-get-involved’ views – approaches and outlooks! But yet still imagine this was 9 years ago! And have things really changed much? I do not think so! It would not surprise me if it would be completely the opposite!

In my career life,  I have said on things that others chose to ignore – not because I was not saying the truth or on the realities in life – and people did not realise this – but people were either just disinterested – and or chose not to get involved!

Recently, I have been keeping to myself like a hermit – and avoiding as best as I can – even family gatherings! This is because of the last Consultancy job where I was deeply insulted and hurt – and all those I went for solace – completely ignored me! And then to add other things that have insulted my intelligence as a human being – adding fuel to the fire already burning! It is just too much for me to take in anymore!

I even avoid going for congregation prayers – because there will certainly be someone there to annoy and upset me even – and for no reason other than that they think that they still can do so – though they are no longer my bosses – but their mindsets and frames still think that they are still. That is how bad, decadent and malaise the situation has turned out now to be!

It took my mail to bounce back to me – when I informed on my new books – to come to my senses and wake me up – to realise that even though I am steering now away from them – they are still the very same people – unchanged in time! But even in my writings now – I am still the same person to them – to be ignored, belittled and to be marginalised. You see the problems with me in ever still seeing good in people – and there is hope and for change in them!

And never learning my lesson. When I sent in my books and to the same people – they did not even have the courtesy to acknowledge – let alone offer thanks! Perhaps they felt insulted – or thought I am trying to show off! That should have awoken me – but then I am always a deep sleeper! And I never learn my lessons in life!

Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany