The Dawn of Lost Respects!
Losing Respects and Legitimacy!
- Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to
you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what
happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens – Khalil Gibran
- The one who does not know you; will not value you – East African Saying
- Even if you hate me; I will still tell you the truth! – Another
- The problems that we are all facing us now all over – is all due to this great craved hunger to always intimidate, control, dominate and manipulate others.
What do you say to someone that you have always respected and committed to in all your life – and lets you down so badly – disappoints you so badly – and makes you feel that all the loyalties, dedications, commitments were just wasted energies, efforts and exercises?
How does a child feel when the parent (or elder) behaves in a very strange awkward weird and disappointing way – that is so shameful, disgraceful and degrading – and something that shames and betrays – to the extent that you no longer have any more respects nor esteem for him? That he has hurt you badly – let alone the disappointment and the painful realisation! Shows you crystal clear that you have wasted and destroyed your career, your life and even your future for nothing? All wasted and gone?
To the extent that though the suspicion may have existed that he may be capable of doing such things – but you always thought better of him – and you never expected to see it being realised and come into reality. You ask yourself then – and again – why did I ever respect this person in my life? It becomes as just wasted energies, efforts and loyalties!
When you esteem and respect someone – is it because you are afraid of him? Or is it because you may want something from him? Some favour or reward from him? Or could it be that the respects are natural, sincere and genuine – and you really care and feel? Or is it because you want him to look at you in ‘good eyes’ – because otherwise there may come danger and harm to you – and especially from his side or direction?
In my career life, I have always wondered how some individuals survive ‘very nasty bad bosses’ – and are actually even their likes and favourites – whilst the rest of us suffer and in dangers! Afraid not because we respect him in reality – but despise him – and have the highest contempt for him – but are afraid to show it – because in exposing your true feelings and grit – it will be you that will suffer the most? Not him and his cronies – but only you!
You have to go along and pretend that you do respect him when he is around – or within earshot of him and his spies and cronies? Is this acting, facade and pretensions not really taxing and hard on you – especially when he insults, ridicules you – and makes you small, inferior and fair game – and when in need of his ego busting exercises – and show off to his cronies – and you are the victim of his whims and craze – to boost his ego? Thinking to himself that he is still powerful, controlling, dominating and manipulating – and nothing – simply nothing – can touch him!
Like I always say in my columns and in my books too – there comes a time in our lives when you have to make really hard and tough decisions – of what your next step and future is going to be. You must make those decisions because the situation can no longer be allowed to go on in your life. Your own intuition and gut feelings tell you that you must make this decision – even that thin distant voice in you is pleading to you to ‘make that decision – and go for it’!
In my first article in this column – titled More Dangerous and Troubled Waters Ahead – and dated April 23rd 2003 – over nine years ago – I said – Quote – …..But then the Iraq war dawned on us, and it took a dramatic turn to write something else on ‘the war’ instead ….. I was the sole voice who said we should prepare for the war and the contingencies in retrospect. I got on a scare technique to frighten expatriates (or was it I was anti-expatriate) and beating up the war ‘drums’. On the 17th January, 1991 – I was vindicated …. Yet after that meeting I was the loneliest person on the face of the earth – with even my pees turning up against me! – Unquote.
My career prospects and future were tarnished and killed – because I had the courage and guts to stand up – and make my voice heard – and not take things the easy convenient and comfortable way by going along with the popular majority ‘do-not-get-involved’ views – approaches and outlooks! But yet still imagine this was 9 years ago! And have things really changed much? I do not think so! It would not surprise me if it would be completely the opposite!
In my career life, I have said on things that others chose to ignore – not because I was not saying the truth or on the realities in life – and people did not realise this – but people were either just disinterested – and or chose not to get involved!
Recently, I have been keeping to myself like a hermit – and avoiding as best as I can – even family gatherings! This is because of the last Consultancy job where I was deeply insulted and hurt – and all those I went for solace – completely ignored me! And then to add other things that have insulted my intelligence as a human being – adding fuel to the fire already burning! It is just too much for me to take in anymore!
I even avoid going for congregation prayers – because there will certainly be someone there to annoy and upset me even – and for no reason other than that they think that they still can do so – though they are no longer my bosses – but their mindsets and frames still think that they are still. That is how bad, decadent and malaise the situation has turned out now to be!
It took my mail to bounce back to me – when I informed on my new books – to come to my senses and wake me up – to realise that even though I am steering now away from them – they are still the very same people – unchanged in time! But even in my writings now – I am still the same person to them – to be ignored, belittled and to be marginalised. You see the problems with me in ever still seeing good in people – and there is hope and for change in them!
And never learning my lesson. When I sent in my books and to the same people – they did not even have the courtesy to acknowledge – let alone offer thanks! Perhaps they felt insulted – or thought I am trying to show off! That should have awoken me – but then I am always a deep sleeper! And I never learn my lessons in life!
By Majid Al Suleimany